I'm tired and sorry for all depression journal's who I did post. But this is last one cuz this time Im really sick.
I'm not Okay. Those weeks I had a lot of fights. Especially with mother. But today it was really serious. I had really great day. I did finally feel happy after all problems. Also I didnt want to eat whole day so I was kinda slow. Anyway I did come back home at night (around 21:30 something like that was the time) , when I come home I wanted to rest and have dinner. My mom did come to me and start to yell at me, she screamed like tomorrow you gonna take math and study whole day and your father said if one of test you left you are gonna leave school. I honestly get mad and took my notebook and math and go to room to study. After some minutes my mom get into room and start to yell again. But this time was like all money who we hgive for your school I could use for your sister. And then she was telling that is all my fault for everything. So I couldn't stand anymore and I start to yell also. But everything what I said she said Im wrong. So on the end I told her what did you want me to go to friend with book and study, do you know how much you are giving me stress and she was like shame on you, how dare you to say such a thing I'm giving you stress? Yeah right. And she continued with her story till my father didn't come and told her to leave me alone and that she really ruined my day, he told her also that after her little break you had to come and pull out your madness on her. She then left room and go to make dinner. Some moments later she told my father to ask is little girl is she hungry. I did cry again and went to bathroom, and then I did saw my nose bleeding, what is not normal cuz only once my nose was bleeding because my brother punched me there but today was because of all this stress. After that I just start to feel strange and everytime when I tried to think positive I just start to cry and I can't control it. Is it normal to start cry on every happy thing. And right now I still have hard pain in stomach I hardly breath and my nose hurts. Also I feel like bus stepped on me because I'm walking extremely slow and Im feeling like I'm gonna hit ground every moment.
This time I'm really done.. Im in the corner to leave everything and be alone forever. Cuz every stress is making me feel more sick. What is true cuz everytime when I got mad I feel like I will throw up.
And that is it. I just don't know what to do anymore.
Watching: DA ,Tumblr.
Playing: with my mind